Embracing Empathy and Equity Across All Identities

While designing the script for one of our programs focused on the Policy of Sexual Harassment, we initially created a scene depicting a woman being harassed by a male colleague at the workplace. We developed the storylines and the nuances, but after more brainstorming, our entire creative team realized we were thinking in a heteronormative way. This sparked some ideas for different perspectives that could be portrayed. What if a man is on the receiving end of harassment? Where would he go to raise a concern? What if this man isn’t comfortable opening up about his sexuality yet and not ready to challenge the harasser due to his own inhibitions? How does equity play its part in such conversations?

In this context, there are often more prioritized groups within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. But what about those who are considered less ‘safe’? Those who are fluid, who are questioned more in our ever-evolving society? Being gay or lesbian might be more accepted, but what about fluidity? Can someone feel comfortable coming to work with a beard and eyeliner? Where do we draw the line?

As a team, our approach to these conversations is simple and can be summed up in one word: empathy. In the spectrum of genders, orientations, and identities, the common denominator will always be humanity. Yes, there will be many thoughts, some uncomfortable, when we encounter individuals who don’t fit our definitions of normalcy. Rather than immediately jump to prejudice, explore ways to ask questions respectfully. Asking respectful questions about someone’s gender identity or sexuality involves several key practices. Here are some guidelines to help navigate these conversations thoughtfully:

1. Use Inclusive Language: Start by sharing your own pronouns when you introduce yourself, which can make others feel more comfortable sharing theirs. For example, “Hi, I’m Alex, and I use they/them pronouns. How about you?” (The Trevor Project)

2. Ask Politely and Respectfully: When in doubt, it’s okay to ask someone how they identify, but do so respectfully and privately. A good approach is to say, “Can I ask you how you identify so I can address you correctly?” Always ensure that the person feels comfortable and safe before asking. (LGBT Foundation)

3. Avoid Assumptions: Do not assume someone’s gender or pronouns based on their appearance. Instead, use gender-neutral language until you know their preferences. This approach prevents misgendering and shows respect for their identity. (National Centre for Transgender Equality)

4. Respect Privacy: Understand that some information might be private or sensitive. Avoid probing questions about a person’s body or medical history, as these can be invasive. Focus on the information they choose to share with you. (The Trevor Project)

5. Educate Yourself: Take the initiative to learn about different gender identities and sexual orientations. This reduces the need for others to educate you and demonstrates respect for their experiences. There are many resources available that explain terms like nonbinary, genderqueer, and genderfluid. (National Centre for Transgender Equality)

6. Apologize and Correct Mistakes: If you make a mistake, such as using the wrong pronoun, apologize briefly, correct yourself, and move on. For instance, “I’m sorry, I meant they, not he” shows accountability without making the situation uncomfortable. (LGBT Foundation)

7. Promote Inclusivity: Advocate for inclusive practices in your community and workplace, such as gender-neutral bathrooms and inclusive language in forms and policies. This helps create a safer and more welcoming environment for everyone. (National Centre for Transgender Equality)

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your questions and interactions are respectful and supportive of all individuals, regardless of their gender identity or sexuality.

Equity truly stands when we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, understand what they might be going through, and uplift them. This might be the simplest way to make workplaces and society more equitable places.